An unexpected destination.

How many times have you said some variation of this phrase to yourself?

When I [achieve/acquire X], then I will finally feel [desired emotion].

Think about it:

• "When I close this deal, then I’ll finally feel successful."

• "When my portfolio hits this number, then I’ll finally feel secure."

• "When I reach this leadership level, then I’ll finally feel like I’ve made it."

I’ve heard it echoed in the pursuit of luxury watches, high-performance vehicles, prestigious addresses, and even advanced degrees. My clinical translation? This external thing is going to finally make me feel whole.

But it doesn’t. That initial rush of dopamine fades. You, the high-achiever, are left perpetually seeking your next "destination” for that temporary fix, hoping that this time it will work.

Now, let’s be clear. I’m not telling you to ditch your hard-earned accomplishments or stop enjoying the fruits of your labor. Not at all. What I am asking you to do is take a hard look at where you're anchoring your sense of self-worth.

Because this constant striving? It means you don’t have to think about the insecurity that whispers doubts, the anxiety that keeps you on edge, that nagging feeling of being an imposter, the crushing weight of burnout, and even the strain it puts on your relationships.

Tying your happiness and self-worth to what's out there isn’t a shortcut to mental well-being. It’s more like a detour straight to feeling perpetually “not enough,” often followed by anxiety and depression.

Self-worth isn't an external destination. It’s not the watch on your wrist or the car in your driveway. It’s something cultivated inside. It grows from understanding and living by your core values – those fundamental principles that act as your compass when everything else feels shaky. And it's nurtured in those small, often unseen moments when you choose to show up for yourself, especially on the days when just getting out of bed feels like a win.

Therapy can offer a powerful space to unpack these patterns, understand what’s really driving them, and develop healthier ways of coping. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), in particular, provides effective strategies for:

• Challenging negative thought patterns that fuel insecurity and imposter syndrome.

• Connecting deeply with your core values to build a life that feels truly meaningful and purpose-driven.

• Cultivating self-acceptance that isn't dependent on external accomplishments or validation.

• Building stronger, more authentic connections with the people around you.

If this resonates, I encourage you to reach out. Let’s explore how therapy can help you redefine success on your own terms, starting from the inside.